Self Soothing for the Spartan Baby

I fondly remember the anecdote/historical fact from High School World History (thank you, Mr. Wallace) that in Sparta, mothers would expose their newborn children to the elements, and if they fought off the wolves with their bare hands, they would be considered fit enough to be Spartan. I may have forgotten the exact truth details, but, at the very least, my interpretation of it is still the same. Clearly, they wanted strong children who would need neither binky nor lovey to comfort them. They wanted the epitome of self-soothers.

When I get dressed, I place an awake Veronica in the middle of my very comfortable, cloud-esque bed, replete with warm, soft comforter. She enjoys the ceiling fan action. She often falls fast asleep.

I contrast this falling "fast asleep" to what happens when we put her in her pack-n-play bassinet or crib. The pack-n-play directions strongly cautioned me not to place a sheet in there lest it wrangle loose and suffocate the child. I did anyway, but the fact I still think about my decision tells me I'm a wee bit nervous. My in-laws' pack-n-play, purchased 7 years ago for their other granddaughter, has a noticeably softer mattress. Mine features a comfortless slab. And the crib! The mattress is firm. The sheet is tight, and there is neither pillow nor blanket in the crib, per "experts'" advice.

Next, the books tell me to lay her down when she seems tired in order to learn to "Self Soothe." Sounds like a recipe for success.

On my bed, she puts a thumb in her mouth and is off to slumber. In her crib, she yanks at her ear, gnaws at her fist, and complains to the mobile...and then collapses into sleep.

The rational, un-paranoid side of me rolls her eyes, remembering that somehow we all got here without spartan cribs. Then the new mom voice, however, whispers to me, "except for those babies that did not get here, you do not want your baby to be one of those, do you?" Then I quickly snatch the soft blanket from Veronica's innocent little hands.

It reminds me of Sparta- teaching my child to self-soothe in the cold, heartless world. Comfort is a sign of weakness! Suck it up, babe. Life ain't no bed of roses! Better you learn now, 'cause by time you're two, we'll have you sleeping on the concrete of the back yard patio with a canteen.

I wonder if thousands of years from now, when babies safely sleep suspended in environmentally controlled bubbles, if world history teachers will tell stories about 21st century Americans who made their children sleep on their backs on cold, hard surfaces, and the students will gasp in horror.