Mary Ellen

My Aunt Barb, Mary Ellen's mother, is fond of saying "We come from good stock." It brings a smile to my face even in the saddest of moments.

Today, Saturday May 21st is my cousin's memorial in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I can't be there. It pains me because there is no where else in the world I'd rather be.

I love Mary Ellen so deeply, as do so many other people. Living across the country from her, I didn't get to see her daily, or even yearly. I didn't get to know her as well as either of us would have liked. I dearly treasure the moments we had together.

I admired Mary Ellen. I remember visiting her when I was 11 years old as she was working on her master's degree. She was a role model, intelligent, beautiful, and vibrant, someone whom I could look up to. She exuded a sense that everything was going to be ok, that life was not only worth living, but worth celebrating. I was proud of her then, as I'm proud of her now.

I always remember Mary Ellen smiling, which is not to say that she didn't struggle, but that I associate her with positivity and sincerity. I remember the way she danced at my wedding, the joy she took in the beauty of her garden, the love with which she spoke about her mother, the fun and laughs we had while sharing good food and even better conversation, her generosity in which she opened her heart and home to friends and family,...I remember so much that inspires me to be better, more forgiving, more accepting, and happier.

After my mother's funeral, she hosted a lunch in her honor. I will never forget the warmth and love I felt. It was the same warmth and love I felt emanating from her whenever we were together. Sitting in her house that day, I felt comforted. I felt accepted. I felt surrounded by peace.

She worked hard to cultivate this peace in her life and to share it with the world. My Aunt Barb told me that she was spiritually ready to leave this life, but I certainly wasn't ready for her to do so. I understand that this is my challenge to face, to accept.

In the meantime, as my heart heals, all I can say is Mary Ellen is a prime example of "coming from good stock," and I am so very proud and grateful to share it with her. I'll miss her forever, and I'll always keep her memory close to me.